Treating outsiders better than family

Just yesterday, I read an article about why the more someone is closer to us, the more we take them for granted. After reading these 4 Chinese articles I understood the fact of human nature and I have to remind myself not to get trapped by this cycle.

We feel exceptionally grateful and appreciative when someone we just met like a new friend or a new colleague do something for us. We get so touched that we look at them as if they are our true loved ones. Why?

It is because of expectations. We grow up with our family, our old friend or anyone who we hold dearly to us and as time passes by, what these people do for us becomes expected. We expect our Parents to buy food for us, we expect our Partners to be there for us or we expect our best friend to borrow us money. The closer your are to someone, the more the subconscious expectations. When is the last time you said sorry when you accidentally bump into your mother? When is the last time you thank your father for passing the salt over to you? Probably way lesser than outsiders when the same things happen.

We don't expect newly acquaintances to be so nice to us and when they do something, even something so minor, the appreciation we shows will be overwhelming.

2ndly, is the need to build relations.

Overtime, we take people for granted. Especially our loved ones because we know definitely that they will not leave us. So we unknowingly put our appreciation focus to impress outsiders. Letting them know that they are the best and sometimes describing them as people who are more important than our own loved ones living with us.

Not that these people won't be important to you one day. But till that day comes, never forget about those who stood by you all along. Especially your Parents.